iGod

Me and the Prostitute

When I was a young man I met a prostitute. No, not in that sense.

It was in the late Eighties and I had just started working in London’s glittering West End for an ad agency. Everything was new and I was still trying to get to grips with my pocket-sized London A-Z.

Thinking I would take a short cut through some back streets to get to the tube quicker I found myself going down this dimly-lit grubby street. It had been raining and so I had one of those black city-type long rolled up umbrellas. Well, I was trying to make an impression.

Walking fast I caught sight of a heavily made up girl leaning on a door way smoking a cigarette, half-bathed in red light. She was wearing, well not very much to be honest, but what she was wearing was in leopard skin print. But what really struck me were her long black suede boots. They seemed to go half way up her body. I remember thinking what an absolute picture she looked and began considering the kind of person she must be.   

Well, I lost my concentration and managed somehow get my “man about town” umbrella caught in one of my shoelaces. I began to run uncontrollably towards this lady trying to stop myself from tumbling over – but, alas, too late. I ended up slumped awkwardly face down in a puddle by her thigh length black suede boots.

I felt this hand reach down and grab mine and pull me up to my feet. My briefcase and its contents were scattered unceremoniously across the street. Not good.

“Are you alright? Can I do anything? Do you need any help? I looked up with utter embarrassment and saw something unexpected - kindness. Not for the first time that evening I had been caught unaware and wrong-footed.

I have learnt over the years, thanks to this chance encounter with a sex worker, that kindness is what makes us human. There is much in society that tries to demean its virtue and label it as the act of church-goers, do-gooders or weak people.

The Roman philosopher and emperor Marcus Aurelius declared that “kindness was mankind’s greatest delight”, but humanist thinkers such as Voltaire saw it as a weakness and argued that there was nothing in it for the individual. He vehemently disagreed with the Christian virtue of “love your neighbour as yourself.”

Nowadays this Enlightenment thinking has gone deep into our society to make us naturally suspicious of any kindly behaviour. It is often dismissed by clever people as being sentimental or moralistic.

Some say that we are only kind to each other to get something out of it for ourselves.  Maybe, but for the Christian our motivations are different. We live not for ourselves but for the pleasure of God. Again, not a popular concept in a secular individualist society. Yet in that place, personal fulfillment and life purpose has a chance to go deeper than if we just live for our own ends.

Admittedly there is vulnerability in doing acts of kindness, but it is a risk we take. We learn to take on board “the greatest commandment” given by Jesus: “love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul and with all your strength.” And along with that, “love your neighbour as yourself.”

Now it may seem a foolish thing to believe in today’s culture but, hey, seeing today’s society as it is, I think I’ll take my chances and be a kind fool for Christ and see where it takes me.

ASD

Sweeping change

Well, what an interesting time we are having as a nation. If you are from the US looking in you may well be wondering what on earth had gone on or for that matter gone wrong. 

This week I spent time with two financial guys. One whose business it is to advise the football world on buying and selling clubs and the other to advise normal people, like me, how best to invest their hard earned money to aim for a half decent retirement, among other things. The latter tells me that he has seen 20% of value has been wiped off the Footsie 100 in less than two months. Not a good time if you are looking to cash in your pension. It is something, as we have seen Stateside, that politicans seem unable to influence or affect the outcome.

And if that is not enough we have had the erruptions on the streets of our beloved country. After the peaceful demonstration over the death of Mark Duggan last weekend the term rioters has been quickly replaced with Looters. Yet, some politicians such as the Mayor of London tell us that Britian is not broken. At this point that remark feels very English and stiff-upper lipped. Others might say it is just sheer denial.

Social network platforms such as Twitter and Blackberry Messenger Service have been criticised for fanning the flames of angst-ridden teenagers. But actually, surprisingly, I have come out in support of Twitter and other social platforms. As much as they have been used for bad they have also been redeemed for good.

The community has struck back - with a broom in its hand. It has drawn communities together, black, white, young and old, not seen for a long time. Now no communtiy leader or church leaders seems to know exactly what the Conservatives mean by 'The Big Society', but something has happened without too much involvement from the politicians themselves. This, perhaps, could be described as a great example of their philosophy. Dunno.

A friend of mine who runs a young peoples' charity in South East London is plain exhausted with the constant round of meetings with police, politicians and local organisations, but as a Christian leader in the community he has been encouraging supporters to do acts of kindness.

For instance, I heard how one police station in SouthEast London had had delivered to them a load of cookies to their exhausted and emotionally tired officers. With all the recent bashing the police got from politicans the public alternatively has shown their solidarity with their local bobbies. I cannot stress that these expressions of love are equally important as any rushed through law or government initiative.

if you are near a police station that has been on the frontline, maybe this is something that your church could organise to do.

The church, at its best, shows compassion through practical outward signs of invisible grace. For as James said, "faith without works is dead." We stand with all, we cry with all, we shout justice for all. This is God's love in action.

This is the outward-focused church at is best. It is not idle, a talking shop, inward-looking or obsessed with evangelism programmes or simply going deeper with God with discipleship courses. It is loving, generous, kind and sacrifical. It loves without terms and conditions.

Meanwhile, on a more mundane note, our church is about to own a football team, but not sure we will be using the services of my city banker friend. Apparently there is no money in it for him. Ah well, that's the fickle world of football.

ASD

 

 

 

 

Easter Great Big Giveaway

We had a fantastic reaction to the hot cross buns giveaway this morning. We warmed up 500 of the beautiful little things and gave them away to grateful Saturday shoppers.  Great conversations. Very proud of church.

ASD

Christians volunteer more than others - Survey

In the spirit of, you could say, the Big Society, The Department for Culture, Media and Sport have pulled together some interesting statistics on volunteering. They show how Christians consistently volunteer more than others.

The data is based on opinion polling, and although the question wasn't asked in 2009, it is clear that every year it has been asked for the past six years Christians shown higher levels of volunteering that others.

BRIN point out that this is in line with other studies, including the British Social Attitudes Survey and the Citizenship Survey.

It has been mooted that perhaps part of the reason why Christian motivation is figure high is because the [traditional] Church has a greying older demographic, which therefore tends to be more community-spirited per se.

Undoubtedly there is more than an element of truth that when you retire you will have more time to volunteer than someone bringing up a young family, working all hours under the sun to provide for them. However, I want to throw some doubt over that conclusion.

In my own tribe, the Vineyard movement, our demographic is much younger, which inevitably has to do with being a young movement. Yet I have to say almost all of our regulars are involved in a voluntary ministry in church life, which, if you think about it is pretty impressive. Well, I am impressed!

This is because we see volunteering as 'serving', as it falls out of our relational worship with God. Our giving of our time is an important and central manifestation of our sacrificial offering to God. It is an act of thanksgiving. It is so much more more than being community-spirited. In short, the two are inseparable in the Kingdom of God. 

Deut 4:6 says that emphatically that we are to love God and love others. Volunteering is a outward response to an invisible grace.

Therefore, as it is impossible to separate serving the community to serving the Lord, maybe we should argue more confidently that our motivation has more going for it than merely being down to an ageing benevolent congregation.

ASD

 

Faith, like coffee, should be real to be enjoyed

Once in a while I get teased about my Facebook profile picture because I am told that I am drinking the longest cup of coffee in history. The shot was taken by my wife while we were in Prague for a long weekend three years ago. And what great coffee it was too. (Mind you, the European Medieval environment probably helped.)

I remember jokingly telling a close friend of mine, now my Area Pastor, that the only way I would ever leave West London and go into the country would be if there was a certain coffee shop there. So when I visited Sudbury, South Suffolk after having had more than a strong prompt by the Lord to go there, I discovered to my shock and delight a Caffe Nero had just opened. Awesome.

My wife and I just sat at a corner table in this newly furnished place profoundly silent. Though she had tears in her eyes. I should hasten to add it was not so much the coffee itself, though not one to detract from the experience, but because we felt, along with some other significant confirmations, somehow rewarded for obeying The One leading us.

Now, hear me clear, I am not so vain to think that cafe was opened just for us. As if. However, faith lived out in real experience makes for a much more enjoyable life. And through it we find some wonderful unexpected joys along the way - if we will just step out and take God at his word.

James, the brother of Jesus, writes in his pastoral letter to the early church that "faith and works" together is the only way to go, otherwise faith it is a complete dead-end and an utter waste of life's time (I paraphrase here). Faith has consequences - whether it brings suffering or pleasure.

Sometimes it will lead, probably more often than not to hardship. But even in hardship there is joy. I experienced that last weekend when with our friends Jason and Michelle Scott at Dungannon Vineyard.

As I looked down from the old military observation post on a town about the the size of Sudbury, I saw the main square, much similar to our own. I was told that over the years it has been the site of several car bomb explosions.

The town's mood is depressed. People have little money with few prospects. The long-hoped-for regeneration programme has all but come to a grinding halt. The social housing programme has been scraped due to lack of cash. On top of all that its history of religion-infused politics and vioence continues to have its impact on families' lives and emotional well-being.

In short, there is no place for a 'huddle and cuddle' pietistic Christian experience here.

And yet, in the midst of it all, I find a vibrant and beautiful expression of church which greets you with a warm smile and hot coffee.

It's work in the community is simply and profoundly moving. It does not take sides with anyone, but the poor and hard-pressed. I came away feeling that more than ever Northern Ireland, and the rest of us, need to confront the religiosity and judgmentalism that often tries to pass itself off as 'faith'.

Following Jesus cannot just be monastic, devotional or a matter of words. As James says so well (again, paraphrasing), it thrives best when lived out in a practical, community-based, real-life experience.

Accept no imitations.

ASD

 

A soft touch or generous? You choose.

I have three instances recently where it has been suggested that either I or my church could be accused of being a soft touch.

I guess it it is understandable, but misplaced. Firstly I have to say how impacted I was twenty odd years ago by John Wimber's famous dictum " I am a fool for Christ, whose fool are you?" That way of thinking really turned my world upside down as a young Christian, and still does today.

The truth is it is not in anyone's nature to want to be anyone's fool, but some of the side-effects of not making yourself vulnerable is that it makes you hard, defensive and and self-interested. These aren't very endearing qualities for a church trying to be outward-focused and relevant to the community.

In our church we run a compassion ministry called Storehouse. Part of that ministry is a food bank where referred people can come and grab a bag of food to help them through a tough time when the system isn't there for them.  We work with a number of local partners, including social services. However, it was suggested recently by one of our referral partners that some people were taking food from us when they didn't really need it. It really bothered them.

Another person thought if we let someone have something for free it might be more of a hindrance than a help because they might just be bad with finances and never learn the value of anything.

I was reminded this week of the story in John 5:1-6 where Jesus ministers at Bethesda. The place itself means House of Kindness. Jesus asks the disabled woman, "Do you want to get well?"  What a question!

No I mean what a question. What a brilliant thing to ask. He could have just simply said, "Be healed".

If you ask any of the guys we help if they want their situation to change, you will generally be met with "yes". But ever so often we meet people who don't. Sometimes for the drug addict, they are actually happy having a habit because it has it's routine for them and comes with a like-minded group of friends. I suspect for the crippled woman, she had her routine as well, going down to the pool every day, along with all the other disabled people. I suspect they had quite a little community going.

So I am happy to be seen as a soft touch, because actually I know how easily I can become mean-spirited, given the right situation.

We accept that it means that some people who come to us for help, really don't want anything more than a bag of food. Meanwhile, others are desperate for change.

We know that to be generous to people and be a place that is kind to the unloved comes with a price. Usually that price is our personal pride and self-interest.

For that reason, I'd rather be a chump for Christ than a judge for Jesus.

ASD

  

Kindness at Christmas

I have been in Pret a Manger this lunchtime buying their redoubtable Christmas sandwich. Apart from being a great festive munch the sandwich will also mean a donation being made to Crisis, the homeless charity. A charitable thing, indeed!

However, while waiting to be served I saw their poster on the wall which said how they give free food and vans to the homeless. However, they were quick to say that it was not because they were "nice" people, but because they hate good food going to waste at the end of the day. I don't know about you, but this kind of sends out mixed messages to me.

it is funny how being "nice" is a somewhat out of vogue virtue. The adage goes if people are being nice to you they want something. It is a cynical view and not totally unfounded.

Recently a well known atheist entertainer suggested that Christians are "kind" to manipulate people's feelings, to lull them into their net of deception. At least, that is the gist of one of his myopic arguments. Sad, really.

Of course, as marketing techniques go, the offer of something apparently "free" only to "pay later" is a well tried and tested way to acquire business. It's giving with "terms and conditions".

As someone who loves doing acts of random kindness for people, I have to be honest and say I get very little out if it in the sense of seeing huge amounts of people added to the church.  I enjoy bringing some happiness into someone's life, but If I was doing it to be manipulative you would have to say I am not doing it very well!

However, I am trying to show Jesus, The Jesus who loves with no strings attached. Not the fundraising Jesus for a leaky roof or the TV evangelist Jesus who wants you to ring in with your credit card details. That's not my Jesus. God save us!

Have I got an agenda? You bet!

It is to show people that there is a God that loves them without a set of terms and conditions or a "buy now, pay later" scheme.  My God is the God of freewill, not a God of trickery, manipulation or illusion that looks to beguile the innocent and vulnerable. My God doesn't need gimmicks or to entertain to get your attention.

Being kind is different to being "nice".  "Nice" is twee and arguably skin-deep.

Kindness cares. Kindness costs. Kindness is compassion. It is also often a forgotten fruit of the Spirit.

Kindness is no kitten.

ASD

Why X Factor has the Ah! Factor

Unless you have been on holiday in a remote part of the world where electricity is still an aspiration, it will not have escaped your attention that  X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing are back on our screens.

Much like last year my family and I have become full goggle-eyed X Factor addicts, even though my disdain for TV in general continues to grow weekly. But I do have to concur, it is the best escapist TV around - and in more ways than one.

I hear from a friend who knows how the X Factor producers work that the best way for your act to be seen by millions of people on national TV and YouTube is: a) be able to sing and b) have a sob story ready. Being talented and from a stable middle-class simply doesn’t cut it.

I have lost count how many times we have been introduced to a single mum wanting to re-kick start her life with a new career in music.

Last year you may remember we had Daniel who lost his wife to a terminal disease and sang at the audition in memory of her. The hardiest of us were caught out dabbing our moist eyes on the sofa.  However, the show painfully never allowed us to forget for one minute his loss and subsequently the media turned on him, accusing poor Daniel of using his wife’s memory to manipulate the judges’ decision. It felt quite uncomfortable.

There is a new film out this week called Fish Tank. It is the story of a girl  called Mia living on a rough council estate who is socially trapped. She drinks heavily and has problems with her mum’s choice of boyfriends. All she wants to do is become a professional dancer and find a way to escape the ‘fish tank’ that is her life. She goes for an audition only to find out that they want lap-dancers, not street dancers. Your heart sinks for her. It is not a happy film and has no Disney ending.

I wonder if the attraction of X Factor is that it is a people’s show. It gives hope that anyone of any social background has the chance to escape a unhappy and desperate life. It is the ultimate rags-to-riches TV show. No wonder the Americans love it.  The huge queues seem to bear witness to this theory.

Sometimes the naked desperation in people’s faces of wanting to be loved is almost too painful to watch. Surely some of them must know they can’t sing for toffee before they go on. Why doesn’t a friend stop them?

You have to also ask: what it is that drives people to risk making a public fool of themselves?

This may explain why X Factor has a higher viewership than BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing, which follows ‘D List’ celebrities that have already had their own fair share of fame and fortune, regardless of what they have done with it.

A teacher friend of mine in our church said recently that she asked her class of teenagers what they wanted to be when they grew up. More than one of them said “to be famous”.

It is easy to be cynical and dismissive of this response, but knowing something of the challenging school she teaches in the answer is not as shallow as you might first think. If you had your mother's boyfriend hitting you what would be your ideal situation?

Youngsters are more disconnected, confused, mixed-up than ever before. With the erosion of community life, and the cheapening of the currency of long-term loving relationships it is not hard to see how teenage depression has become a national phenomenon. They simply want a way out!

In my limited experience I do not see the same aspiration to be famous from children from happy homes who are blessed to have a mother and father. I am not sure either this is always to do with social hardship. Life can be living hell coming from a broken privileged background too. Sometimes it has very little to do with money.

As a Christian I wonder what the best response might be. At the moment I sit on my sofa on a Saturday night and shed a tear over some stranger's story. I know I have to do more. I must. Jesus’ words about “loving your neighbour” have never been more pertinent.

ASD

Share your happiest memory on World Alzheimer’s Day

I am not sure if you have ever experienced anyone with Alzheimer's Disease, but is pretty horrific. I've seen someone I love being slowly robbed of their mind, memories and relationships and it broke my heart.

On this day that specially remembers the fight against Alzheimer's, can I ask you to consider taking a couple of minutes out to visit Alzheimer's Research Trust's microsite: Memories Matter? It allows you to share your happy memories and show your support. I see there's a few odd celebs on there too, including the Prime Minister.

It is a great feel-good Monday thing to do - and very worthwhile. 

ASD

Living simply to give generously – now there’s a revolutionary thought!

I have been reading how the new Evangelical Alliance director Steve Clifford and his wife Ann have signed up to the organisation’s new project called Simplify by trying to live on just £5 a day.

It has as its strapline: ‘Live small, think big’ and is part of its response to the current economic crisis regarding personal debt and financial loss. They have a blog up and running talking about their experiences.

Until recently, I must admit I have not really lived on a self-imposed tight budget, but since we have gone through the CAP Money Management course recently at HOME group I have revised my thinking towards the old readies.

My wife and I have now made the decision to live on a payment by cash only basis wherever possible. The result has been that where we would not have been aware of how much we were spending each day - because everything goes on a debit or credit card - we are now more in control of our finances.  Not good news for the banks, I suspect!  It also allows us to be more generous in other outward-focused areas in a more thoughtful and planned way.

Is it possible to live on £5 a day?  To be honest, not everyone has that choice. Some I know often have to live on less , so we should be careful not to make a spiritual virtue out of it.

But here’s the important thing – because we choose to live modestly within our means it is not an excuse to stop showing generosity towards others.  In fact, our simple Acts of Random Kindness in serving others can have even greater, more profound significance.  Besides, we give without condition.  I believe the Bible calls this grace!

This is why with Storehouse, our compassion ministry to the ‘harassed and helpless’ (Matt 9:36) we come each week to our small groups and Sunday gatherings armed with the sort of food we ourselves might like to eat. We don’t go the supermarket and buy the best for ourselves and second best for the poor. This is not a generous act, this is just looking to fulfil our minimal obligations; much like with the 10% tithe thing which we so often get all hung up about.  This is a religious attitude. If anything, when there is a choice we should be the ones eating the cheaper food and the poor enjoying the best!

Remember how Jesus created the best wine out of the water at the wedding of Cana for the happy couple and their guests?

The master of the banquet’s  said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” (John 1:10 NIV). Wow!

Living on a chosen minimal amount each day will undoubtedly makes us think twice about the cost of living.  And if it makes us think twice again about our own attitudes to the poor that has got to be time well worth spent too.

ASD