iGod

Kindness at Christmas

I have been in Pret a Manger this lunchtime buying their redoubtable Christmas sandwich. Apart from being a great festive munch the sandwich will also mean a donation being made to Crisis, the homeless charity. A charitable thing, indeed!

However, while waiting to be served I saw their poster on the wall which said how they give free food and vans to the homeless. However, they were quick to say that it was not because they were "nice" people, but because they hate good food going to waste at the end of the day. I don't know about you, but this kind of sends out mixed messages to me.

it is funny how being "nice" is a somewhat out of vogue virtue. The adage goes if people are being nice to you they want something. It is a cynical view and not totally unfounded.

Recently a well known atheist entertainer suggested that Christians are "kind" to manipulate people's feelings, to lull them into their net of deception. At least, that is the gist of one of his myopic arguments. Sad, really.

Of course, as marketing techniques go, the offer of something apparently "free" only to "pay later" is a well tried and tested way to acquire business. It's giving with "terms and conditions".

As someone who loves doing acts of random kindness for people, I have to be honest and say I get very little out if it in the sense of seeing huge amounts of people added to the church.  I enjoy bringing some happiness into someone's life, but If I was doing it to be manipulative you would have to say I am not doing it very well!

However, I am trying to show Jesus, The Jesus who loves with no strings attached. Not the fundraising Jesus for a leaky roof or the TV evangelist Jesus who wants you to ring in with your credit card details. That's not my Jesus. God save us!

Have I got an agenda? You bet!

It is to show people that there is a God that loves them without a set of terms and conditions or a "buy now, pay later" scheme.  My God is the God of freewill, not a God of trickery, manipulation or illusion that looks to beguile the innocent and vulnerable. My God doesn't need gimmicks or to entertain to get your attention.

Being kind is different to being "nice".  "Nice" is twee and arguably skin-deep.

Kindness cares. Kindness costs. Kindness is compassion. It is also often a forgotten fruit of the Spirit.

Kindness is no kitten.

ASD

What are friends for?

I wonder how many people you count as true friends. There is no doubt a difference to being friendly to having friends. To be friendly is to extend the experience of being warm to someone as if they are a friend. It relaxes someone and makes them feel special. No bad thing.

Apparently, if the sociologists are to be believed, we are in trouble as a society. They say that we are becoming more isolated as we often find ourselves working longer hours, travelling further away to find employment, which leaves us with little energy to anything else.

Some of us may boast a couple of hundred friends on FaceBook, but even the internet through its online social networks is, ironically cutting us off from meeting real people. Watching Friends reruns on TV is also a poor substitute to actually having friends to say “Hey you!” to.

In America a piece of research showed that people’s close circle of friends has dropped, on average, from three to two. That is a 50% deduction in people they can confide in. I suspect the picture in the UK is little different.

In contrast, I have noticed that people in the Bible seem to have a lot of friends. Jesus had a circle of 72 that followed him around. But there was a much closer relationship with 12 men, his disciples, whom he called his friends.

And there were three that he was especially close to - Peter, James and John; and one, the apostle John, with whom he seemed to be closer with than anyone. But Jesus, who modelled for us perfect humanity, had a substantial network of confidantes with whom he could disclose the things that were most important to him.

I wonder if that makes you envious. Why not take a moment to reflect upon your own quality of relationships?  Are they fulfilling, giving, equally weighted towards each other’s needs?

The Greek philosopher, Aristotle said, “Without friendships no one would choose to live, even if they had all other good things in life.”

CS Lewis, the Christian author and Oxford don wrote, “I have no duty to be anyone's friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”

It’s these last words that get me, friendship is key to getting through life. That’s why in our church context we want to be more than a ‘friendly church’, but a church built on deep dependable friendships. Friendships that are there through thick and thin.

Over the years I have learnt that the best friends are those that love what you love. In church that love starts with Jesus. Out of that place he enables us to love others that, well, perhaps, we would not be friends with otherwise. That is a powerful thing, isn’t it?  

There is a maxim that says a friend in need is a friend indeed. People say to me the church is full of needy people. I hope so, because there is a lot of need in the world today. If the church cannot meet their needs, we are in trouble.

The truth is we are conditioned by our individualistic society to shun the public recognition of neediness because it is considered weak. Yet, it has been my experience that those who acknowledge their neediness move on in life quicker and get healed emotionally and spiritually along the way.

ASD

Church worker hits front page of Evening Standard

Having posted this morning the story of the stabbed church worker who is fighting for his life, it has since been elevated to front page news. The man has been named as father of four Simon Somerville. Be good to pray for him and his family tonight.

ASD

When faith is tested, others notice

 I spoke earlier this week of my uncomfortable conversation with a non-Christian who thought Christianity should stand for something and make us different from others. His experience was not great.

Today I heard Prince Edward talk on the radio on how the Duke of of Edinburgh Awards holds a ‘chance of death’. It seems to have caused no small ripple in Australia. He went on to say, of course, he hoped no-one would die, but it has happened. Has it put people off? Far from it. It has only added to the experience

The truth is Christianity is exciting, but sometimes it can be dangerous. At this point everything that we proclaim to hold dear is tested.

Perhaps it is humility that stops us saying how different we are to people.  Sometimes it is because we just don’t feel that different!  Our being a Christian can be seen as ineffectual.  It is only when faith is tested that we find out if it means anything or not.

Last night the faith of a 41-year-old man was tested in south London.

In today’s Evening Standard on page 5, tucked away in the top right-hand corner is a story of a church volunteer who was stabbed repeatedly by a load of youths in Deptford outside a church-organised meeting. The event was aimed at trying to keep teenagers away from crime.

He is now fighting for his life in a south London hospital. It was also reported that a 16-year-old boy stepped in to try and stop it and found himself being stabbing.

It was a church’s initiative to bring peace to the streets of London. They did not have to hold such a meeting, but they did. 

It was a man’s own initiative to go and speak to the gang. He did not have to get involved, but he did. 

It was the 16-year-old boy’s initiative to try and help this man, more than twice his age. He did not have to, but he did.

It is all too common nowadays to just look the other way or walk on the other side of the street.  The man is now fighting for his life. What could compelled someone to do such a thing other than Jesus?

These are the kind of Christians I would like my non-Christian friend to meet. 

Please join with me in praying for that man and boy in Deptford, and that God’s peace may break out in this part of south London with young lives being transformed and given hope.

Today I feel privileged to be part of this beloved thing we call the Church.

ASD

Outward focused Cartoon

All a matter of perspective, isn't it?

Cartoon by AsboJesus

ASD

The Church and what it's not

Been thinking a lot about what the church is and what it isn't. Sometimes it is very convenient to put the blame on an institution and not have to personally deal with the relationship stuff. 

We can talk about 'it', but really it is 'us'. So easy to forget when we are having a bad time of things. Hopefully, the church (the people) is a place where we want to be because we enjoy the fellowship and friendship it offers - and where we can ultimately experience the presence of God.

It kind of also makes the phrase 'church-goer' well and truly redundant. And that's no bad thing, either! What a horrible reductionist term that is.

Cartoon by Asbo Jesus

ASD

I am a Muslim

Now there's a headline grabber!

Actually, this is the title of Carl Medearis' latest post which is well worth a quick browse. It is all about how we communicate - or not as the case may be.

Carl makes some valid points, not least when he says that good talkers do not necessarily make good communicators. Talking is not enough. That's the easy part. When we live in multicultural towns and cities and where a variety of lifestyles are lived, we need to rethink the issues with our minds as well as our hearts.

When we say we are a Christian to people we hope they will understand exactly what we mean by that. And of course, we delude ourselves if we think they do. 

In an ever-increasing secularised society how can people ever hope to get a non-distorted view of Christianity?  It is often poorly portrayed as hypocritical or a crutch to hapless no-hopers. Not perhaps what we really want to be saying to our neighbours.

Carl gives us these useful pointers:

"I suggest we think of these three things when we speak of anything potentially controversial or complicated:

1. Be sensitive to the hearers.  Place yourself in their shoes. Ask questions to fully understand where they’re coming from and how they might hear (feel) what you’re about to say.
2. Avoid one-word terms.  Or at least if you use them, define them. Words like “conservative” or “liberal” or “church” or “Christian” or “bible” or “evangelical” don’t really communicate that well these days. Be skeptical of your ability to really say what you mean by using a one word term.  I prefer to not use words like that at all, but rather explain what I mean in 2 or 3 sentences.
3. Ask the hearer if they caught what you said after you say it. Don’t assume.  You know what ass-u-me…ing does."

ASD

Job positions available

"I am leaving the brilliant world where I occupied a high position, and now…. I am about to ascend into a much greater world, the world of the poor."

St Elizabeth Feodorovna (1864-1918)

I have been wondering this morning on what it is to live as an imitation of Christ's humility (Philippians 2:1-11).  

For a lot of my working career I have had it drilled into me that I needed to aim for the top (advertising and marketing is a meritocratic culture. Only the fittest survive).  It is a message that I have heard constantly through the aspirations of some pretty smart people around me. It has also resulted in the breakdown of marriages, family life and ill health. A great ad, indeed!

To be quite honest, for ages I could find no attraction whatsoever in taking on the 'nature of being a 'servant'. As a concept it did very little for me.

So becoming a servant must mean more, right? It must have a spiritual dimension...

For someone who has been a Christian for a while I am now starting to get it: sharing our lives with one another and serving others is not about winning points to get a better place in the heaven. We know we can't earn credits in the Kingdom (see the older brother in the Prodigal Son story to be convinced.) It is about oneness with God, or being in constant communion with him, and experiencing his presence through the spiritual discipline of encouragement to others.

The Bible is beautiful is full of wonderful contradictions. To a world that does not believe, it appears folly, even plain stupid that we should be seen to throw away our careers, job prospects and social status to follow Jesus. But sometimes when we do we can get it given back 10 times fold over.  This is because it is It's our hearts he's after, not a contract. The money is irrelevant. Being rich and successful is not a crime!

People like St Elizabeth Feodorvna , Mother Teresa, Jackie Pullinger and Shane Clairborne show me what it is to serve others. And I am grateful for their godly examples.

So is there any joy in being out for number one in life?

Well at a totally non-God level - absolutely! What else have you got to live for, apart from yourself? It is just unfortunate that this kind of joy is temporal. Otherwise, flawless!

Maybe Paul is saying to the Philippian Church that a true understanding of our purpose and existence comes not from isolated personal development, but by outward-focused living and serving others. It calls for love to be tested to be valid.

Perhaps once we can move from that begrudging mindset that complains every time we are asked to serve to one that sees serving as an absolute privilege, we'll get a further glimpse of heaven.

Maybe we can grasp something of the mind of God and what it means for the divine to appear in human form.

ASD

Living simply to give generously – now there’s a revolutionary thought!

I have been reading how the new Evangelical Alliance director Steve Clifford and his wife Ann have signed up to the organisation’s new project called Simplify by trying to live on just £5 a day.

It has as its strapline: ‘Live small, think big’ and is part of its response to the current economic crisis regarding personal debt and financial loss. They have a blog up and running talking about their experiences.

Until recently, I must admit I have not really lived on a self-imposed tight budget, but since we have gone through the CAP Money Management course recently at HOME group I have revised my thinking towards the old readies.

My wife and I have now made the decision to live on a payment by cash only basis wherever possible. The result has been that where we would not have been aware of how much we were spending each day - because everything goes on a debit or credit card - we are now more in control of our finances.  Not good news for the banks, I suspect!  It also allows us to be more generous in other outward-focused areas in a more thoughtful and planned way.

Is it possible to live on £5 a day?  To be honest, not everyone has that choice. Some I know often have to live on less , so we should be careful not to make a spiritual virtue out of it.

But here’s the important thing – because we choose to live modestly within our means it is not an excuse to stop showing generosity towards others.  In fact, our simple Acts of Random Kindness in serving others can have even greater, more profound significance.  Besides, we give without condition.  I believe the Bible calls this grace!

This is why with Storehouse, our compassion ministry to the ‘harassed and helpless’ (Matt 9:36) we come each week to our small groups and Sunday gatherings armed with the sort of food we ourselves might like to eat. We don’t go the supermarket and buy the best for ourselves and second best for the poor. This is not a generous act, this is just looking to fulfil our minimal obligations; much like with the 10% tithe thing which we so often get all hung up about.  This is a religious attitude. If anything, when there is a choice we should be the ones eating the cheaper food and the poor enjoying the best!

Remember how Jesus created the best wine out of the water at the wedding of Cana for the happy couple and their guests?

The master of the banquet’s  said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” (John 1:10 NIV). Wow!

Living on a chosen minimal amount each day will undoubtedly makes us think twice about the cost of living.  And if it makes us think twice again about our own attitudes to the poor that has got to be time well worth spent too.

ASD

The science of happiness in serving others

 I have just come back from an enjoyable day at New Wine in Shepton Mallet, Somerset. For those of you uninitiated, it is an annual summer event for Christian families and individuals attended by some 30,000 people, giving the opportunity to be spiritually and physically refreshed and renewed.

Actually, might need to scrub 'physically' after seeing the muddy and tired condition of some families around. Some of them I am told had to be evacuated from one of the top fields when rain water sprung up all around and in their tents. Not easy when you have a baby and a toddler screaming.

Now you may wonder why anyone in their right frame of mind would put themselves through so much angst. But, on the whole, it didn't bother people. They were happy. Yes, happy! Can you believe that?

A while ago The Times magazine ran a cover story on the science of happiness. One of the interesting things that came out of it was that exercises in gratitude, such as counting your blessings, writing a gratitude journal increased physical health health, raised energy levels and, for patients with neuromuscular disease, helped relieve pain and fatigue. It reported:

"The ones who benefited most tended to elaborate more and have a wider span of things they were grateful for.

"Another happiness booster ...is performing acts of altruism or kindness - visiting a nursing home, helping a friend's child with homework, mowing a neighbour's lawn, writing a letter to a grandparent. Doing five acts of kindness a week, especially all in a day.

"[Serving people should be] both random and systematic. Being kind to others, whether friends, strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects - it makes you feel generous and capable...and wins you smiles."

Now if all this is done out out of love and gratitude to Jesus, I reckon that wins the biggest smile of them all. Think what that must do for us spiritually.

Time to apply the science.

ASD