iGod

What are you looking at?

Be honest, do you like what you see in the mirror?

There’s no escaping it, in our culture looks matters. Ask any actor, musician, politician, or man in the street.  Our overall confidence and emotional well-being is tied up with it, which I guess is pretty good news if you are in the cosmetic business.

Talking of which, Dove, in their latest campaign for “Real Beauty”, recently hired Gil Zamora, an FBI forensic artist to prove that when it comes to looks, we are our own worst enemy.

He undertook a social experiment to illustrate the ongoing struggle women have with recognising their own beauty.

Without seeing his subjects, the forensic artist created composite sketches of women based on their own descriptions, plus a second sketch based on the description of a stranger that they spent a short amount of time with before the sketch.

The end result was extraordinary. In each case the woman’s own description was different than the description by the onlooker. Their faces were full of “flaws”, but when the stranger described them, the sketches were more accurate and more flattering. In an accompanying video a woman tears up as she realises her self-description resulted in a "fatter, sadder" version of herself, while the stranger saw her as "open, friendly and happy."

 

Dove research shows that women are their own worst critics. Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful.    

So yes, we do have an image problem. Now, I am not sure quite what percentage of men would consider themselves as good looking or handsome, but the ever-growing shelf of men’s products at my local chemist might be a good indication that low self-esteem and confidence are an issue for us too.

Of course, at one level, none of this should surprise us. We are constantly bombarded with advertising, magazines, films and TV programmes showing people’s skin to be clear, wrinkle and spot-free with symmetrical faces, straight noses and super white teeth.

Is it any wonder that our self-esteem plummets when we look at ourselves in the mirror? And as the weather warms up (finally) we will become even more conscious of our numerous imperfections and want to spend money to fix them.

Yet if we, perhaps, notice more of what we have rather than what we don’t have, our self-perception might just change a little.

Maybe we would stop comparing ourselves with others and for once not be left wanting.

When I read the Bible I don’t see beautiful, perfect, gorgeous people nominated by God to be an example to others. Instead, I see Moses with a stammer, who chose to have his brother Aaron speak on his behalf. I see Paul the Apostle suffering with a speech impediment, as well as well as having bad eyesight. Jesus himself was described as ordinary in appearance. His disciples were equally described as ordinary.

So here is another way to look at ourselves.

Polish psychologist Andrew Bienkowski, a man who was exiled to Siberia and starved himself to death so his grandson could eat his meagre rations, said that we could approach ourselves by thinking: I have breath! I have life! I have shelter! I am here…

Be inspired to see yourself differently. Look at the four basics of life. If you can say that you have breath, family, somewhere to live and some place to sleep you can say, “Thank God my life is full!”

God allows us to focus on his own perfection and goodness and to see ourselves as he sees us. We become grateful and satisfied and learn to avoid discontentment, which always leaves us wanting.

King David famously declares in Psalm 23 says, “The Lord is my shepherd and I shall not want.” So the big, fat, honest questions are: what is the “shepherd” of my life? And does it make me not want?

Our confidence and self-esteem can come from knowing that we are accepted by a loving and gracious God. And by those who know us, perhaps, better than ourselves.

So, come on, put that anti-wrinkle cream back and get real. You too guys!

ASD

Keeping an open mind

At a recent leaders’ breakfast time I was asked by a younger dad what wisdom I would pass on to him, being a parent. I munched over another mouthful of muesli before eventually uttering what was once passing on to me: “Don’t always be right at the dinner table.”

We are, perhaps, at our most open and teachable when we are at school and college. Then we leave and something happens over night - we are expected to know it all, not least as parents. Of course, the worst thing is we start believing that we actually do.

A very respected person from my profession of advertising, who would certainly not call themselves a Christian, was taken back after receiving mounting vitriol from a particular group of atheists on a celebrity webpage.

He had asked a TV comedian, well known for his political views, whether he thought atheism should be taught in schools. He replied, “No, there’s no need to ‘teach’ atheism. It’s the natural result of education without indoctrination.” In essence, his argument was that religion indoctrinates young minds and atheism doesn’t.

But the adman wasn’t sure about the answer and pushed him further. He suggested that Agnosticism was, perhaps, more neutral as it didn’t enforce any firm position.

Thinking it would help the discussion along, he cited a dictionary’s definition of atheism: “a doctrine that there is no deity”. Futhermore, agnosticism was defined as “a position taken by people who hold genuine doubts or a skeptical approach to questions to do with God’s existence.”

He got back a wave of abuse, including from someone who had in their profile “Evangelical Atheist”. Another replied, “Relying on dictionary definitions, how pathetic.”

At this point the poor, battered adman submitted to the growing realisation that these people were no different to “religious fundamentalists”. They were closed-minded. Any sympathy with their view vanished.

It was Thomas Huxley who first coined the term agnostic in 1869. You might even describe yourself as one. You may neither believe or disbelieve, but remain open to the possibilities of God existing. You simply don’t know.

But it is healthy to keep an open mind. Not just about the possibility of God’s existence, but in any area of life. In fact, it is a pretty good way to live. It will help us develop strong relationships with our spouses and children. It will also help us to be more approachable and trusted in the workplace?

The more I go on in my Christian faith, the more I realise how much I have yet to learn. Not least in prayer. I haven’t got it all sussed with neatly alphabetised answers for every situation. Life is not that simple. As with all previous generations, my faith comes with doubt.

Besides, I know that if I did have all the answers I would probably be the most annoying person on the planet. Ask my family. It would also, undoubtedly, put others off from ever being open to exploring the possibilities of God. 

I need to come to the dinner table and say, “This is what I think, but what about you?” I need to be thoughtful. Do my level best to affirm the other person. And if they don’t share my view, that is really okay. We will get more respect that way.

In the Bible Jesus often answers a question with another question. On one occasion rather than saying that he is the Son of God he asks, “Who do you say that I am?” He just loved getting people to think. In fact, you could say that Christ died to take away our sins, not our minds.

Part of what it means to believe in God is to live in the question, not in the answer. It is to enjoy the mysteries of life, of which there are many. But I personally believe that we will get the best out of life by being openly-minded to new possibilities. Not least to the promises and claims of Jesus Christ. Now, you can either choose to believe that last sentence or not.

It’s your choice. Enjoy it.

ASD

Me and the Prostitute

When I was a young man I met a prostitute. No, not in that sense.

It was in the late Eighties and I had just started working in London’s glittering West End for an ad agency. Everything was new and I was still trying to get to grips with my pocket-sized London A-Z.

Thinking I would take a short cut through some back streets to get to the tube quicker I found myself going down this dimly-lit grubby street. It had been raining and so I had one of those black city-type long rolled up umbrellas. Well, I was trying to make an impression.

Walking fast I caught sight of a heavily made up girl leaning on a door way smoking a cigarette, half-bathed in red light. She was wearing, well not very much to be honest, but what she was wearing was in leopard skin print. But what really struck me were her long black suede boots. They seemed to go half way up her body. I remember thinking what an absolute picture she looked and began considering the kind of person she must be.   

Well, I lost my concentration and managed somehow get my “man about town” umbrella caught in one of my shoelaces. I began to run uncontrollably towards this lady trying to stop myself from tumbling over – but, alas, too late. I ended up slumped awkwardly face down in a puddle by her thigh length black suede boots.

I felt this hand reach down and grab mine and pull me up to my feet. My briefcase and its contents were scattered unceremoniously across the street. Not good.

“Are you alright? Can I do anything? Do you need any help? I looked up with utter embarrassment and saw something unexpected - kindness. Not for the first time that evening I had been caught unaware and wrong-footed.

I have learnt over the years, thanks to this chance encounter with a sex worker, that kindness is what makes us human. There is much in society that tries to demean its virtue and label it as the act of church-goers, do-gooders or weak people.

The Roman philosopher and emperor Marcus Aurelius declared that “kindness was mankind’s greatest delight”, but humanist thinkers such as Voltaire saw it as a weakness and argued that there was nothing in it for the individual. He vehemently disagreed with the Christian virtue of “love your neighbour as yourself.”

Nowadays this Enlightenment thinking has gone deep into our society to make us naturally suspicious of any kindly behaviour. It is often dismissed by clever people as being sentimental or moralistic.

Some say that we are only kind to each other to get something out of it for ourselves.  Maybe, but for the Christian our motivations are different. We live not for ourselves but for the pleasure of God. Again, not a popular concept in a secular individualist society. Yet in that place, personal fulfillment and life purpose has a chance to go deeper than if we just live for our own ends.

Admittedly there is vulnerability in doing acts of kindness, but it is a risk we take. We learn to take on board “the greatest commandment” given by Jesus: “love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul and with all your strength.” And along with that, “love your neighbour as yourself.”

Now it may seem a foolish thing to believe in today’s culture but, hey, seeing today’s society as it is, I think I’ll take my chances and be a kind fool for Christ and see where it takes me.

ASD

Keep Calm and Enjoy Christmas

(My article reproduced from Community News.)

I remember sitting in a church a few years and hearing a vicar talk about how Christmas is a time of peace and goodwill, and how we needed to find space to just be.

As a young parent I thought, “Yeh, right!”

In all honesty, I strained to hear how the talk finished as one daughter almost caused an international incident by stealing another child’s Buzz Lightyear, while the other threw a habdab because I asked to her give back an elderly lady’s walking stick. Peace in heaven maybe, but peace on earth was stretching it.

In the midst of a busy conference recently I came across a flavour of tea called Moment of Calm. Although not quite tempted to have a cup, it did remind me of those unavoidable ubiquitous Keep Calm and Carry On posters and mugs, which seem to be everywhere like a cheap suit. Originally a wartime poster produced by the British government in 1939, it now has its own parodies such as: Keep Calm and Have a Cupcake and Now Panic and Freak Out. Calmness is something we are seeking everywhere.

I wonder, though, if it possible to have a true moment of calm this Christmas?

When I think of having a calm Christmas myself the familiar Austrian carol Silent Night, Holy Night by Franz Xaver Gruber comes to mind.

What makes the hymn special for me is that it is said to have been sung simultaneously in French, English and German by troops in the trenches during the famous Christmas truce of 1914. It was one of the few carols that soldiers on both sides of the front line knew.

It was estimated that on that Christmas Eve around 100,000 troops ceased fighting and instead, quite bizarrely, shouted Happy Christmas to each other before eventually going over the top to exchange, not gunfire, but presents. There was even a friendly game of football.

I suspect Silent Night has never had a less holy setting, but it was sung where hope in a saviour of the world was needed most. I am sure it was also sung with gusto. It was a symbolic moment of peace and humanity amidst one of the bloodiest and needless wars in modern history.

It tells me that if there can be calm in the midst of the Great War then, perhaps, aiming for some of our own peace and calm this Christmas is not beyond our reach.

We will, of course, be remembering our troops this year who will be far away from home, but for ourselves let me ask: where will we look for our calm? Will it be in a tea bag or somewhere a little more soulful like Church?

There are a number of local churches who have planned Christmas services where I know a time of peace on earth will be on offer (see Church Services on page 4).

But if you do have noisy excitable kids, like ours, you’re very welcome to bring them to our hour-long Christmas Eve Family Carols service at 7pm in the Delphi Centre. Why not come early for free mince pies and mulled wine? It’s usually a lot fun and just the thing after you’ve done all your shopping and preparations. We’d love to see you. We’ll even promise to sing Silent Night, Holy Night too.

Meanwhile, may I wish you a happy Christmas on behalf of all of us at Stour Valley Vineyard Church.

ASD

"Don't panic!"

Recently the family and I decided to go to Bressingham Steam Museum. Well, actually when I say “we” it was my wife and I and the rest of the family had to comply. However the small voices of mutinous dissension were minimised at the back of the car, largely thanks to their iPods and Nintendo DS.

Bressingham is a great place to visit not least for Father’s Day. But beyond the working steam engines there is something you are not expecting – a Dad’s Army museum.

Having grown up on a staple diet of Dad’s Army comedy I can’t begin to tell you the fond memories it brought back. The kids, of course, had little respect for walking around the hallowed replica sets of Jones the Butcher or Captain Mainwaring’s office, but we forgive them.

Throughout the exhibition there was plenty of wartime memorabilia, but one of the posters particularly caught my eye. It read, “Morale: How to play your part.”

Today it is hard to, perhaps, understand the nation’s mood back then in such dark and desperate times. Anything we may feel today as a nation is pathetic in comparison such as, dare I say, Andy Murray losing Wimbledon. No, really.

Even though we are not at threat from the skies or the seas, there are other things that bring us together.

Take the steep rising costs of fuel, energy and food, along with cuts to local government services. They are undoubtedly starting to take their toll on most households. And life isn’t set to get any easier in the short term either. All these things can start to affect the nation’s mood, but as Corporal Jones would say. “Don’t panic!” It’s time to pull together.

When I looked at the wartime poster more closely I was surprised at what I read.

Firstly, it calls us to “Forget about yourself and help your neighbour.” Secondly, “Be a rumour stopper. Face the facts, don’t exaggerate. Faith, confidence and cheerfulness are as contagious as fear, depression and grumbling.”

But then the poster goes onto to say something really quite boldy, “The secret of steadiness and inner strength is to listen to God and do what he says. God speaks to the heart of every man and woman who is prepared to listen and obey. His voice can be heard wherever you are - in the home, in the factory, in the air-raid shelter, in the first-aid post.”

Now, be honest, you weren’t expecting that, were you?

But it is the last paragraph that really got me: “A British general who has fought two world wars said this: Telephone wires might be cut, wireless stations destroyed, but no bombardment can stop messages from God coming through if we are willing to receive them. To listen to God and obey him is the highest form of national service for everybody everywhere.”

Quite something, eh? When our spirits take a bashing God encourages us to turn to Him to be lifted up.  Morale in the dictionary is defined as being positive, confident, disciplined and willing to do tasks. Not to dissimilar to what it is to be a Christian.

St Paul the apostle writes to the first century Church that we are to be full of deep joy and hope. Also, we can receive a peace that ultimately only comes through his son Jesus Christ. It takes someone who is bigger than the situation to help us get perspective.

Whether our ongoing worries are about money, our job or whatever, we have a loving God that can help lift morale, so why don’t you try praying?

Meantime, if you do have any financial worries you might like to know that we have a team of trained Money Coaches available who are able to offer practical advice and support. Speak to our church office today (details on the Churches Services page). We’re happy to be of national service.

ASD

Christmas starts with Christ (article reproduced)

Each month I try and write an article for our town magazine, Community News. It gets distributed for free far and wide to all the households. The magazine editors, themselves, do an absolutely brilliant job and really serve our community well.

Here are my latest collection of rambling thoughts reproduced here:

I love Christmas. I love it all. It brings out different sides in all of us, though some can be dubious. 

For instance, there is the Christmas Party Animal who has the knack of sniffing out a soiree the other side of the county and always stays till the bitter end when the host is begging for their bed.

I remember as a theological student asking a cheery Catholic priest how he would like to be remembered when he left this mortal life.  He paused, smiled and then replied, “He liked a party”.  Not a bad way to be remembered. Better than a dour, miserable Christian.

Quite the opposite to the Christmas Party Animal is the Christmas Stress Head who gets more ill with the run up to the big day. They desperately try to juggle their children’s nativity play rehearsals and productions, and wonder when the shopping will get done and the food cooked.  Their Christmas can be far from fun. To boot, come January their body collapses with a major cold or flu.

As a Christian I value the anticipation of the Christmas Day. Like my Catholic friend I am not one for religious solemnity, though the thought of Jesus entering our world as a baby should make us reflect and find us in momentary places of stillness.

I saw a poster recently that said ‘Christmas starts with Christ’. For many of us who have a faith in Jesus that is most certainly true. It is not just an opportunity for some additional church services, it is first and foremost a birthday celebration. And with celebrations come parties. That means party decorations, food and drink, singing and dancing. Surely the arrival of the saviour of the world and hope for all humankind deserves some noise.

In the Bible the people of Israel used to celebrate all the major occasions with big feasts and parties. Although they were not without their ritual and solemnity they were certainly not dour occasions, and often lasted for days.

Yet what makes this birthday celebration different is how we give the presents. 

In our church we see giving gifts to each other as a symbolic gesture of remembering the gifts that were given to Jesus by the three wise men, as well as in thanks to God for the gift of Jesus.  Our presents to one another can be seen as reflection of the ultimate gift given by God to man, which is at the heart of our Christmas.

It is a pity then that when this wonderful truth gets overlooked the giving of gifts becomes just a meaningless ritual that everyone does, but simply hasn’t got a clue why.

Well, here’s a suggestion to put meaning back into your own Christmas. Why not join Stour Valley Vineyard Church at its Christmas Eve Service in the Town Hall on Thursday 24 December?  It starts at 7 pm.  Mulled wine and mince pies are served from 6.30 pm onwards.  And if you can’t make our service there are plenty of other churches where I know you will also receive a warm welcome.

Merry Christmas!  May you know the peace and love of God at this time. God bless.

ASD

New Guinness ad - Dominoes

The most expensive TV ad ever to be made.  The work, which was preceded by a web-based treasure hunt asked users to solve tasks and reveal short clips of the ad before it airs, cost a cool £10m. 

Worth it?

You be the judge.

ASD

Alpha on TV

Just a quick post before the weekend.

Ruth Gedhill has picked up on Alpha, the succesful enquiry programme for people wanting to explore the Christian faith, running an ad to coincide with Big Brother.

"This is Britain's first ever Christian television advertisement. It will run 30 times on E4 in September, at about the same time Big Brother is running, and coinciding directly with the BB final."

As an adman who has a keen critical eye for cringey Christian communications, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I think it is rather fun - and ideal for the target audience.  Well done for staying away from the earnest and worthy approach.   

ASD